2 Years and counting

So I haven't forgotten about this blog; although the frequency of my entries could convey that. I don't have much to write now actually; just feel like writing again (obviously).

Listening to Sara Bareilles, and chatting away on Yahoo IM doesn't necessarily make for a concentrated effort of writing something profound.

I wrote a poem last week; and that is worthy of mention for sure. I haven't written one for over two years; and last week, a fantastic first date I went on, of all things, is what inspired me to write it. And for two years of being rusty, I'd have to say that I impressed myself... The 2nd date was a flop and I don't have the patience to pretend that I didn't feel it wasn't worth it. I do have a countdown to turning 30 to contend with afterall! So I was my usual direct, frank, and cards out on the table self; and initiated the 'let's just be friends' conversation.

Time will only tell if we actually do become friends... it's amazing to me; how much I learned about myself just in a short stint of interactions with this guy though. Totally not someone I'd marry; least not as is; (and don't get me wrong, he probably would say the same for me) my point is that this was such a rare experience. Getting an objective view of myself; from someone who has nothing to lose by being honest with me; about me from their perspective. Most certainly there are wonderful things to take away and to ponder on.

I've actually been dating quite frequently which is surprising because last I wrote I was just projecting the idea of dating out in my atmosphere; not necessarily thinking it would manifest as it has... Anyhow; the poem I wrote is below; no energy to go into any of the other dating adventures; and really none of them thus far are all that mentionable; besides perhaps a guy calling me the wrong name after having been out on a date; several phone calls, Ims, texts, and emails exchanged between us; I was more than annoyed let me tell you! : )

And appropriately I think, as I end, "Love on the Rocks" is playing. I really love this CD.

15 Hours

15 hours were spent outside of my box
seeing my world through a stranger's eyes
what a pleasant surprise
to realize
that the purpose of my muse's absence was to retrieve a subject worthy enough to intrigue and challenge my mind
one whose presence would revitalize the talent I had buried deep inside
a connection to re-ignite
the fires of my creativity
similarly to he
I enjoy creating a means to reconnect with a fond memory
however, instead of my body
I put ink to a page

And as that day, slowly drifted away
educational conversations filled the air
He was completely free to share
of himself and his views
what good
could
come from me
removing myself from the judgment seat?
when our eyes would meet
I'd look away, because he was catching glimpses of the real me
that level of authenticity
while foreign; was refreshing
albeit quite daunting
to crack open a wall
allowing a guard to go down, to be relaxed, not knowing what harm could befall
what I hold dear
but there
in the dimension seemingly outside the reaches of time
it felt alright

I can't help but have caution and say to myself, "just take one day at a time"
I never would have guessed this end by its beginning
Yet remembering
the feeling
of comfort while I laid in his arms
is so reassuring; that this encounter was not ordinary

In between moments of consciousness, during the hush
of the Dawn, I realized that what I felt was more than a crush
Unfortunately, this reflection can only touch
upon the essence of this experience to an extent
It most certainly was a portion of time well spent

I can only hope that the seeds that were sown produce a good crop
From the inspirational time
15 hours were spent outside of my box