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so i think i'm totally one of those people who is addicted to being connected. i check my email and facebook and this blog and IM all the time. do i really have that much to say, or do i really think that many people have that much to say to me???? i guess i don't, but i totally feed into the habit of it all just the same. i have been thinking of taking a break from it all; excluding the blog of course; except i don't know if i can do it. lol

my best friend made a new website; just for the two of us; it is facebook-esque but basically just a message board for us; but it's totally fun, and was one of her many great ideas. so i think i will see about only using the blog and that site; and see how long i can make it.

SC (subject change) i really LOVE Boboli pizza. i'd never had it before; but love to make homemade pizzas and the other day i thought i'd try their products.... i really am having an Italian food overload of some sorts; perhaps i'm addicted to tomato based sauces; whatever it is, i have been eating pasta and pizza etc like a junkie. lol oh anyway the pizza was fantastic and i actually have already made another one, which i will have some of for lunch shortly.

(SC) i think i have realized what's wrong with me in terms of making new relationships. i mean as crazy as it sounds, i totally want new friends, or a new bf on some levels, but the part of me that doesn't wanna get hurt again is SO much stronger. not that my current friends are perfect by any means, but we have foundations; we have history. the probability of being hurt badly by a friend or a guy is so high (in my mind at least) that i totally sabotage stuff with people who are extending themselves to me.... but then i'll be sad when i'm sitting home by myself with nothing to do (sometimes). it's like my trust meter has gone empty or something. people invite me to dinner, to hang out at their home, call me........ but do i call them, invite them over, ask them out for the afternoon? NO, i don't, and i honestly can't see myself just deciding to do it anytime soon. esp. in terms of guys, i feel like i just can't count on myself to make a good decision. things in the past seemed good, they seemed fantastic actually and in each instance things totally were a disaster in the end, with me bearing the brunt of the pain and disappointment. it's like, if i can't pick the right guy, i probably can't pick good friends either.

i was trying to talk this out with a current friend, but i dont think i was putting it out there so she could get it....

maybe i should try and be MADE on MTV. i think perhaps though that there's an age requirement for that. BUT i do know that they have a website, to help you try and find connections in your area for stuff you'd like to be MADE into. i wonder if that is just for high school kids. i'll check it out. in the meantime, i think i'll go grab my pizza.